High Thoughts Of The Day

Wednesday July 9 2025

I have been having a hard time with my emotions recently, I have been trying to use dbt techniques to calm down and shit and its fucking hard. I want to do my best to keep my emotions calm, but I have bpd and its fucking hard. I have been reminding myself that people dont hate me, and that they are allowed to do what they want without it being a dig at me. I feel like I have been doing okay at not snapping but I know I could do better and I want to do better. Like i have been helping my prtners grandfather have showers hich i dont mind doing its just very overwhelmiing so I am doing my best to not get upset with him because he just needs help and its the opposite of helping to snap at him ya know? so i remind myself breathe he needs help and he deserves me being calm and level headed. I love him a lot and i dont want to be an asshole just because im stressed out. I also help my partners grandmother with diaper changes and getting her food and meds because she is bed bound. She wentto the hospital recently and came back with diaper rash and its like wtf, youd think the hospital would take better care of people but nope.

Wednesday May 7 2025

I have managed to keep my room clean and I am proud of myself. I went to sleep at 6am on Monday slept until 4pm yesterday (tuesday) and I have been awake since then. I feel like I am doing better-ish with eating. I am nervous to say I am doing better and am wondering if its just that I have been awake for a while so it seems like I have eaten more than usual. Regardless I am proud of myself for eating 3 meals today and yesterday. I have a hard time choosing the right food or being able to eat it based off of texture, taste, or temperature so its quite difficult to find food that I can eat. Today I had Vegetarien Popcorn Chicken, Spaghetti, Scrambled eggs, and pancakes. I am proud of myself for being able to eat the eggs and chicken because I don't normally eat either of those things so it was hard to do.

Tuesday May 6 2025

I cleaned my room today and im proud of myself, My partner helped me clean and we did a great job. I had to take breaks and my partner was very helpful in keeping me on task and motivated. Im really proud of her and all that she's doing in life. She has built an amazing life for herself. They have great friends and they can support eachother and lift eachother up when feeling down. They have helped me and been with me through the worst of times. I can't even express how much she means to me. I love you baby.

Monday May 5 2025

I had a feeling one of my cups would break today but i ignored the feeling, and the cup just broke 5 minutes ago, did i predict it? If i did why cant i stop it from happening is it destined to happen, did i cause it to happen by ignoring it?

Unrelated completely and I will say it anyways. How can anyone be okay with what is hapeneing in amerca and around the wold right now, if you ever question what you would do during the holocaust then look in the mirror its whatever you are doing right now. That sickens me, I want to fight for freedom so bad, I will fight for freedom from thse fucking trump supporters (n@zis is what they are). I would lke to hae rights as a person and i want everyone in the word to have rights as a human, not based on skin tone, or nationality, or disabity, or anything other than everyone getting the support they need. Take away the wooden fence and replace it with a chainlink fence that way noone needs a box to stand on to be included (im referencing a disabiity post idk who the original is or id link it)